The Nuts Dynasty Grows | WisCommunity

The Nuts Dynasty Grows

Much has been said recently about the successful polling results for Deez Nuts - a mythical candidate for president who has been out-polling many actual human beings in the North Carolina primary.

What is less well known is that many of the other candidates are planning to climb on what has been described as the "Nuts bandwagon" after Deez Nuts polled at 9%. Rumors are flying that candidate John Kasich is considering a legal change of name to "Dem  Nuts" in an attempt to appear to be just as Nuts as Deez.

Likewise a story has also spread that Bobby Jindahl is attempting to increase his chances (which frankly do not seem very good) by changing his name to "Doze Nuts". Asked about this, one campaign spokesperson who wished to be un-named said "We figure he can't do any worse than he's doing now". 

Trump's political staff, on the other hand, responded that this was just crazy talk, and that Trump was not considering joining the Nuts juggernaut. One of his staff off-the-record said that "We think Donald is already more Nuts than all the other candidates put together - he doesn't need to change his name to prove it"

Meanwhile in Wisconsin candidate Scott Walker's team has been considering a change as well. The Walker team conducted a focus group of likely voters in the state, and is currently torn between the two highest ranking choices of Nuts names. At last word there was a heated debate going on between "Freakin'" and "Numb". Look forward to a lot of re-writing of campaign material.


August 24, 2015 - 3:13pm