Johnson Calls For Immediate Destruction of Mount Rushmore (Satire) | Wis.Community

Johnson Calls For Immediate Destruction of Mount Rushmore (Satire)

Keystone, SD -- Standing on the observation deck of Mount Rushmore, U.S. Senate candidate Ron Johnson, said that it was time to "get rid of career politicians" and that the four U.S. Presidents featured on Mount Rushmore was a"perfect place to start."

Johnson said that each of the Presidents, Jefferson, Washington, T. Roosevelt and Lincoln were "exactly the kind of career politicians that are ruining this country" and said that when he is elected to U.S. Senate, his first "Senatorial ordinance" would be to have Mount Rushmore faces blown-off the face of Rushmore.

"Thomas Jefferson spent 36 years in public office... Washington was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses in 1759 at age of 27 and would spend the next 40 years active in politics... and both Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln started running for office at the age of 23-- and Lincoln actually died in office!" Johnson said as he pointed at each President and then made a "thumbs down" sign after mentioning each one's name.

A National Park interpretor dressed up as Thomas Jefferson then interupted Johnson and asked what the country might look like, "If people like me and the other three Rushmore Presidents had never served our country."  Johnson replied, "Exactly!  You guys are responsible for the mess we're in! This country would probably be a lot better if career politicians such as yourself had never ruined this country!"

"Experience is directly proportional to poor job performance," Johnson continued.  "That's why I am the perfect candidate."

Published

September 8, 2010 - 10:25am

Author

randomness